My brain is gone, totally gone.

I slept through my 7:30am alarm. My husband got the kids out just fine, early even, but I was supposed to call the lady who was supposed to come and clean and make sure she got up and it didn't happen, so she didn't come.

She said she wasn't feeling well and needed to go to the doctor anyway, but I was supposed to have called her.

Then at 4pm I realized I had missed my 2:30pm physical therapy appointment.

My alarm went off at 2pm to remind me and I couldn't even remember what it was supposed to be reminding me to do.

I got a phone call at 3pm telling me there was a cancellation with my son's gastroenterologist and asking if I could come at 5:30pm. We happily took it, and after his appointment we did a bit of grocery shopping. I got out, despite missing my PT appointment. The kids had fun, but my son was a bit hyped up from the allergy medication he is on and it was an interesting and exhausting experience.

We got home at a little before 7pm, but I was so wiped out that I looked at the clock expecting to be running late for bedtime already. It was a huge surprise to see that we were right on time!

It has been an exhausting week, but surprisingly my numbness isn't terrible. I am tired, I am sore, but my low calcium signs are absent. That is really amazing!! I am very very thankful for this reprieve.

If only I could find my brain I could push through the exhaustion and do what I need to a little bit better.

Whirlwind day

I had trouble sleeping last night but B"H I made up for it this morning. I am glad I set my alarm to leave for my appointments, otherwise I would have certainly slept through them! I got prescriptions from my sons pediatrician and showed my doctor my arm. She started me on antibiotics because she thinks I have cellulitis again though I highly doubt it!

This would mean that the last three times I got the flu shot it gave me cellulitis... how likely is that, short of the nurse spiking the injection with bacteria. I injected myself twice a day with blood thinners for almost a year and a half without a single injection. This just doesn't make sense.

Probiotics here I come!!

I had my special needs support group tonight instead of Sunday night. It was rescheduled, which was fine, but I am totally wiped. After traveling to Jerusalem with my son yesterday I really should have just stayed home and rested today.

PT is tomorrow. My PT was so confused to see my name on her list, since I was discharged a year ago, that she called to make sure it was accurate. She thought that maybe they scheduled me last year for this year by mistake. It was a funny conversation but she was very sorry to hear I had surgery again.

I got in touch with the lady who was supposed to help on Fridays the last two weeks, and she wasn't well but she is hoping to come tomorrow. Her goal is 9:30am, which in the past has meant 12-1pm which would be perfect. The girls would be here for most of the time she is here to work with her, make sure things are put away in the proper place, help find any cleaning supplies she needs and she would be here when I need to leave for PT. She may not be good at arriving on time, but I would trust her with my house and kids and it would save me the trouble of looking for a babysitter or farming the kids out to neighbors for the afternoon.

I am cautiously optimistic.

I am also thoroughly exhausted, so good night all!!

Busy busy and busier

There is no rest!

For better or for worse, I am exhausted. Some of it is the normal exhaustion of having children, some is being post op and some is the crazy running around I have had to do lately.

My son and I (finally) got our flu shots Sunday, for what may end up being out last time. I have a red swollen hot area about 3" across (in a nice neat circle). It looks just like last years, which the doctor declared cellulitis and put me on strong antibiotics for.

I am thinking it wasn't.

My son also got "cellulitis" from his flu shot last year, but he also got pneumonia two days after the shot, so he was on antibiotics and steroids and we weren't too concerned about his arm. It was being treated any which way.

This year his arm swelled from his shoulder to his elbow. The whole thing is red, hot to the touch and 25% bigger around than his other arm. You can see that it is red and swollen from clear across the room. We weren't able to get an appointment with the ped locally, since he was only in town when my son was in school, so we had to meet up with him tonight at the emergency room of the hospital he works in in Jerusalem.

To his credit, it was the fastest ER visit we have ever heard of, in and out in 15 minutes or less. He has no idea what it is though, so he is on some hefty antibiotics, plus steroids and antihistamines. His ped gave him the first doses while we were still in the ER, but B"h he let us leave after that.

So I had a trip to the ER, which though it was only 15 minutes in the ER, I was out of my house for three hours with the travel time. Then we came back and I had to go to the only pharmacy that was open at that hour that would take my insurance, all of the way on the other side of my city.

I try not to make this blog about my son's medical things, since his privacy is important to me, but today was totally exhausting. DH was working, I had to arrange babysitters for the other kids and I just wanted to be home, in my bed, taking a nap.

But we push though! He gives us the strength to do, even when we think we don't have it. For our kids anything is possible, and not just possible, easy, until we are past it and feel in our bones how tired we really are.

On a plus side, we had some awesome french fries from a vending machine while we were at the hospital! In 50 seconds, from the time you pay, the machine fries them fresh and dispenses them in a cup. It was awesome. There weren't enough in the cup to make me feel guilty even if I had eaten them on my own and AC really enjoyed them so I didn't get many at all.

I will not be going back for french fries, but it is nice to know that there could be something nice about a hospital!

Yesterday I wanted to post about my kitchen cabinet cleaning spree, which I am really happy about. My baking cabinet, where I keep my cocoa, sugar, flour, sprinkles, baking powder, etc, was in a disarray. It is a cabinet over my kitchen cabinet, so a lot of reaching up which is hard for me, but I did it and it looks ever so much better and it is infinitely easier to find all of my bottles of flavorings and I know how much baking powder I have again.

I also managed to go out and buy the kids more winter sweaters and long underwear, since winter has finally hit!!

I have been busy, and mostly in a good way that I am happy about. Tomorrow I start physical therapy and in the crazy of this evening I didn't arrange a babysitter. I hope that I manage it, or I will have to bring all of my kids with me, which could prove to be very interesting.

It is raining!!!

I am up listening to the beautiful sound of rain pouring down after a long long stretch of drought. This is the first real rain we have had since last April. It is such a wonderful sound. Especially today, it is so pure, clean and refreshing after two days of yellow haze of sand storms.

I feel like my situation has been a lot like the weather. I have such a thirst for life and like the plants and trees until now, I have had no energy to live.

Right now I am soaking up and revering in every task I manage to do that I couldn't the previous week. I am also pushing my limits to such an extent that am having trouble keeping up with my blog.

B"H I am doing okay. I have a lot more to update, but no more energy though. The rain has stopped and I am going to get some sleep.

Not again, yes, again.

Two weeks in a row the lady I hired to come in the early morning on Friday and help get ready for Shabbos has canceled late Friday morning. Last week it was a forgotten appointment. This week is is sick. I feel bad for her, but I am also frustrated.

It leaves me with the choice of pushing myself into major pain to have things ready the way I want them, or lowering my standards. I have a lot of experience with both.

It is so nice when she comes. A couple hours of an able bodied willing worker makes the difference between pushing to get the house spotless and in order and getting there in an easy beautiful way.

For now, with a bit of push, my kids are helping and we will IY"H get there together which is also worth a lot.

On my own.

Today was the last day of vacation and we did just fine. In the morning, before my husband left for work, he took the girls for their Israeli passports. So we managed to get both sets of passports done for the girls without them missing a single day of school!

This afternoon I managed to finally deal with getting the gum off of my skirt, which has been sitting in my freezer for weeks waiting for me to have strength to deal with it. I did several loads of laundry and got all of my kids bathed and to bed on my own.

I am exhausted but happy.

I have some ironing to do before bed and am praying hard that the lady I hired to help with the house actually comes tomorrow, because I am done. Vacation was good, but now I need one.

Next week looks very busy, but some of it with very good things. Saturday night I have a bridal shower for a good friend's oldest daughter. Sunday is my special needs mother's support group. Monday evening I have a massage and reflexology scheduled, which I am hoping will help with my pain and Wednesday I am scheduled to start physical therapy.

I am taking care of myself. That I am. I am determined to do what ever I can to feel better and get some function back. I need to schedule a bit of rest as well, but I am tired of resting.

Last night of Chanukah

Holidays are so bitter sweet. This year we B"H did a great job, I know it because the kids are bemoaning its end. My kids love school, but they enjoyed vacation and want it to continue. My oldest even commented on how busy they were and how many trips we took, and how she still had time at home and to visit with her friends.

It was B"H a great balance.

I am exhausted though. I need them at school already.

Hopefully my husband is bringing the girls to get their Israeli passports tomorrow morning and while they are gone I have plans for a nice nap. We managed to fill out the forms and pay online and we already have their pictures, so it makes sense to do it while they are on vacation, instead of pulling them out of school.

I may not have the money for the tickets yet, but I am determined to make this trip a reality.