Argh

I am not okay today. My lab results came back too late to get IV and tomorrow night is a holiday, so there is lots to do, little time and no blood tests being done until Sunday.

I tried laying low, doing as little as possible, and just keeping the kids happy without doing more than I had to. It didn't work as well as I wish. I am even more numb this evening than I was in the morning.

I made an appointment for Friday at 9:15am. Though there won't be labs run my doctor may be able to help me if I am still feeling horrible.

On a different note, I had a cute conversation with my kids. Our guests had offered to take us out for dinner, which we didn't do because I wasn't up for it and there are just too many food allergies in my family for it to work out easily.

My six year old didn't even know what a restaurant was. I mean, we drive by the often and there are several in our city, but she didn't know the word in English and has never been in one. That struck me as really funny.

Maybe some day I will be feeling up to it and find one that has food each of us can eat.

The house is a disaster. I cleaned it two days ago but with the kids home, guests here and all of my kids friends over it wouldn't have made sense if it had lasted. B"H my husband is off tomorrow. He will have to work with the girls to clean up their toys and art supplies and sweep up. It isn't dirty, just a huge mess that they should be able to resolve.

It is still hot here. It has been in the 90s all week. That means I still don't have to change the kids clothing over to winter clothing like we generally would this time of year. It also means there is hope of getting the sukah down and away without it getting rained on and soggy.

I am so glad we have air conditioning!

Limits

I have them. My shoulder and wrist hurt and I am numb from my house cleaning stint yesterday. The bathrooms still smell decent, but the floors now are barely better than they were before I washed them yesterday.

I am trying to figure out what to do with the kids tomorrow.

Today my big kids took my stir crazy little ones to the park in the afternoon, my sister in law came over with her siblings for dinner and then my girls went out with my husband to a big party.

Tomorrow we were to go to a park with all of my local sister in laws and their kids, but it is supposed to be very hot, the park has little shade, and there are lots of activities planned at the park which make me suspect it will be crowded as well.

Our guests are planning on going to the mall and seeing the Israeli Sesame Street (Shalom Sumsum) characters. I really dislike the mall though. It may be air conditioned, but it is full of displays of immodest clothing and crowded on a regular day. During vacation it is packed. A hot vacation day there generally isn't even breathing room.

We have zoo memberships. Even though it is supposed to be hot, it may be worth the trip since others may avoid it due to the heat. There are some inside exhibits and they have water sprinklers, to cool down the people, in front of some of the animals as well.

I have to feel better though. With the way my wrist and shoulder are hurting I would not be comfortable pushing the stroller. I am still numb and tingly from washing toilets and floors, so the zoo and all of its walking is probably a nutty idea. Leaving the house to go anywhere is probably not brilliant.

Which brings me back to staying home.

My kids need some surrogate older siblings to take them places, plan trips for them and do things with them when I am not up for it. I wonder if I can find an older teenage neighbor and pay them to take my kids somewhere tomorrow. I am not sure I even care where, as long as they are out of the house and smiling.

I love Shabbos, yes I do.

Shabbos was very nice. The kids all (mine and my friends) played nicely together. It was a bit cooler outside, which was greatly appreciated. Sitting in the sukkah was pleasant. We had lots of good food. Everything really came together B"H.

Now we have to figure out how to keep the kids happy, get rid of their cabin fever, and not overextend myself and make myself sick. I am on the edge right now. I am a bit numb and can feel when it is time for more medication. Traveling too much could cause real problems chv"sh.

My husband is working all week, so it is just me.

We also have to figure out meals and clean the house. I don't have cleaning help this week. I wonder if I can get away with home made pizza and french fries day tomorrow and not take them out anywhere.

We shall see!!

Gut moed to you!

The first day of Sukkot was nice, but a lot overwhelming. B"H the food was great, the company wonderful, but as much as I love company, almost doubling the number of people in my house is a lot. Their kids are on a very different schedule and I miss my quiet evenings. They don't even start bedtime until midnight and I am used to an 8pm bedtime for my kids.

Tomorrow I have to finish cleaning up from the first day of Sukkot and cook for Shabbos. My husband is working.

I am glad I have a lot of food in the freezer already cooked!

It is 3.14159265 day in my house today.

My husband did a big grocery shopping today. My oldest daughter is IY"H going soon to buy fruits and vegetables.

Once our deliveries get here we will IY"H be making pies for Sukkot.

So far the hope is to make chocolate peanut butter, lemon meringue, and peach pies. I am thinking of a squash pie as well. I miss my Libby's canned pumpkin. I hope the crust recipe works. I really

Tomorrow mornings plan is wings, soup vegetables, matza balls and making up lots of beds.

We shall see what happens!

Our house has been hopping. I have been using up every last bit of strength cooking, decorating the sukkah and cleaning. Our guests IY"H arrive tomorrow morning. Tomorrow evening is Sukkot!

This is the home stretch. I am still B"H doing pretty well. It is day and night from how I felt Pesach time. I may only be running at fraction of my old energy level and need a lot of sleep, but with a lot of help, a lot of planning and pacing myself, my house is running well. B"H

Sukkah is up B"H!

We hired a couple teenagers and the sukkah is up! This is a record. The pannels live on our third floor, getting them all down to the backyard is a huge job and putting it up is a job as well. Generally we are racing the clock, putting up schach and hanging up decorations right before we welcome in the holiday, with power tools on the dining room table throughout the holiday.

This year the decorations are half way up, the power tools are away and the holiday is in three days!!

I didn't have to lift a finger or nag either. The money we spent was a wonderful investment!! My husband is working afternoons and evenings all week and it was just too much for him to do on his own.

Outside of the sukkah supervision and 45 minutes at a friend's daughter's engagement party I am not sure where the day went.

I have a lot to do tomorrow. My kitchen needs help, I need to buy chicken, and I still haven't made challah. I have a dream of Sukkos pies and buffalo wings. We have decorations to hang and the last little bit of the girls room to finish.

I did it!!

B"H for the first time in quite a while I managed to finish a fast, no eating or drinking, and feel pretty much okay at the end.

My house looks like a herd of children were playing here, which there was. My kids were here and my neighbors kids were here as well. Though the house shows it, no one complained of boredom. They play so nicely together that having them over makes my life easier. I did okay fasting, but not well enough to get them to clean up after themselves. :)

Now I have bread baking in my bread maker for tomorrows lunches. I have to work on getting everything together for the kids to leave for school in the morning. Going from Yom Kippur straight into a school and work day still feels odd, even more odd than Shabbos directly into a work and school day. I miss my American Sundays.

We have company IY"H arriving Wednesday for Sukkos. I have baking to do and lots of cleaning and my husband needs to get our Sukkah up. I am in search of a margarine and dairy free pie crust recipe since the only soy free margarine here seems to have been discontinued.

I am hoping for another great week!

96.6% 66.6%

My girls room is now 96.6% done. Tomorrow IY"H we will be a little closer. Even more exciting than our bit of progress though, we have the mattresses!

We needed mattresses. We IY"H have company arriving next Tuesday or Wednesday for Sukkos and though we were only short one bed we had two fewer mattresses available than guests arriving. When my youngest daughter got a loft bed from a relative it didn't come with a mattress. We just took one of the trundle bed mattresses, though it was a bit smaller, and put it on her new loft bed.

Today I searched the internet for cheap mattresses and finally found a place that was cheaper than the rest, but they couldn't deliver before our guests were due to arrive. I was frustrated so my husband took over and called a local store for me. Not only did they say the mattresses will IY"H arrive well before the holiday but they were 120nis less per mattress. B"H!

Later this evneing the mattress store called to say that they are delivering the mattresses IY"H this evening. We ordered them today! B"H I don't have to worry if they will arrive on time or not. Going into yomtov will be much easier.

You know the 3.4% that needs to be done in my daughter's room? Most of that was stripping and remaking my youngest daughter's loft bed. As it comes out the trundle bed mattress we put on her loft is a bit smaller than a standard mattress and the mattresses we purchased will not fit. The new mattress needs to go on her bed, so if we had stripped and remade her bed today we would have had to do it again tomorrow when we put that mattress on the trundle and the new mattress on her bed!

66.6% is the amount we have emptied the pool. We can't let out too much water without flooding the yard, so we are doing it a bit at the time. The kids had a blast today in the 1/3 filled pool. As much as none of them were excited to swim all week, they were all in there, happily, today!

As much as the fall is wonderful, leaving behind a wonderful summer is always a little difficult.

93%, Progress is being made

The pool is 50% empty. The girls room is 93% finished. Hopefully the kreplach will be 100% done soon.

I got a nap this morning but I am still exhausted, probably because I was on a roll. There were things to accomplish and I did a fair bit. It was one little thing followed by a rest followed by another little thing followed by a rest followed by another thing accomplished all day. I was on a roll.

At the end of the day all of the little things added up. One refrigerator drawer cleaned out, the bedside table cleaned off, the wading pool bleached and sprayed down, dough made for kreplach and meat and onions fried, one child's bed cleaned off and sheets changed (I played a supervising roll in that one, but I got her to get it done, so I get credit, right?), a sink full of dishes washed, pool towels and swing suits laundered, and the pool half emptied.

I am so sad to be emptying the pool. Summer is really coming to an end. It was wonderful. I enjoyed the time with my children.

School is great too, in such a different way. The structure, more kids around for my kids to play with, new friends, my youngest daughter talking, and the quiet in the mornings. My morning naps help me be a happier and more productive mommy when they happen.

I am off to cook a bit more. First I need to get the kreplach to 100%, then wash a couple more dishes, pack my son's food for tomorrow, find some food for me so I can take my meds and then hopefully go to sleep. It may take me four or five more work and rest sessions, but IY"H (if G-d wills it) I can do it.

90% is good enough?

I am so tired. Yesterday was a lot. Today was not so very productive.

I went for blood work (my calcium is down a lot, but not critical) in the morning, a fitting for my outfit for my brother in law's wedding after that and this evening I went out with friends for bagels and ice cream.

It was a good day, a busy day, but I didn't manage much around the house. We didn't finish the girls room (though DH took all 9 bags of rummage to the gemach). It is so nice, but 90% isn't good enough. I want it perfect. Once it is done we can order the mattresses and be ready for our company!

I found another couple totes of clothing that I want to go through, but they are neat and not in the way, so no hurry.

By Friday I want to do a bit more organizing, and need to make a batch of challah and make kreplach. I need a down day, but it seems that that isn't happening.

Organization

I am fully taking advantage of the days that I am feeling relatively well.

Today I spent the afternoon today purging and cleaning out my girls room as well as some of the totes of saved clothing. We got rid of almost all of the saved clothing that is too small for my third daughter, plus a large portion of that clothing that fits her or is still too big.

She is one girl, who wears uniforms six days a week, coming after two sisters who wore the same size at the same time. We also got a bunch of very nice hand me downs from a neighbor, so she had clothing for three well dressed girls. All said and told, we have eight big garbage bags worth of clothing ready to leave to move onto different homes. I have five empty storage totes as well.

I was definitely in a purging mood and it felt good.

We weeded through the older girls clothing as well. Though there is still some work to do there we made good progress. I didn't realize how much clothing they had! It was mostly hand me downs so it came in little by little but they are certainly well taken care of. It is time to figure out what they love and let someone else love the rest.

Sometimes less is more. IY"H we will finish their room tomorrow and get the purged clothing to a gemach* so that other little girls can benefit!

I am not always up to decluttering like this, neither physically or emotionally, but we did a great job today. Once the bags are out I may be looking at my closet for the next round.

* A gemach literally means an "act of kindness". In this case it is a place that sells second hand items for very very low prices, just to cover their expenses.

Real life

B"H real life is good too, just a huge change from holiday, together, family time. Switching gears takes a lot of effort, but we will get there! I know we will.

The kids all got off to school today. The house got put back into normal weekday order. The white tablecloth is off, the green one is on, the kitchen is mostly back in order, just one sink of dishes left to wash and about a dozen loads of laundry have been done.

I am tired. I am overwhelmed. Being a mommy is a lot of work and it never stops. No matter how tired I am, the kids have to be fed, clothed, cleaned, and loved. We are B"H making a lot of progress with my son with his toileting, but still dealing with a lot of accidents. It is exhausting both mentally and physically.

We changed the clocks, which makes it get dark so early. Bedtime is easier, in terms of getting the kids to sleep, though. The girls actually had themselves upstairs in their beds before I asked them to go to sleep tonight. We shall see if it helps my bedtime too.

I think pool season may be over here. My kids haven't asked to swim in about a week. I am running the filter and keeping the pool chemicals right, but for what? It has been hot enough IMO (82-84*F during the day) but between school, friends, and homework they just aren't interested any more.

I am worried to let the chlorine evaporate, I don't want the pool turning green, but I don't want to chlorinate the trees either. I should probably let the chlorine level drop and bit and start watering the trees this week.

If it is getting dark before seven and the pool is being put away it must really be fall.

Three wonderful unplugged days

Rosh Hashana 5772 (the Jewish New Year) was a real gift. Three days of family time, heart felt prayers, good food, and space from the outside world was wonderful. The kids really pitched in. dd1 took on sweeping the floor, dd2 clearing the table and dd3 setting the table. Over three days they had plenty of chances to help and they all really rose to the occasion.

We also had a lot of fun being together. Whether we were praying, reading, or playing just being in the same space with no outside pressure was a pleasure. We played a lot of Mancala, which is a logic board/strategy game. It is nice to see how may kids minds work and their personality through play. It is also nice to know that I can't count on winning any more, even if I am trying my hardest. My six year old doesn't even count spaces anymore when she plays and rarely misses a good move. All of my girls are strong players which makes it fun for me to play with them.

It is hard to get back into day to day life. Packing lunches, getting uniforms in order and backpacks ready is hard after three spiritually and emotionally fulfilling days. Going straight from one to the next is a bit of a shock to the system.

As I put away the leftovers I am also making lunches. Laundry from the last three days has to be washed and prioritized with what we need for tomorrow. Which comes first, chocolate covered little boy's white dress shirts that we don't want stains setting on or tights for the girls to wear tomorrow?

Tights, and the week to come, obviously come first, but once they are hung up, the white shirts will go in and we will work on incorporating the last several days of serenity and love into the rest of our week and year to come.

Balancing act

I was feeling better, a lot better, the beginning of this week. I was starting to think I was getting back to me, so I tried living like I used to. I was cleaning, cooking, shopping, dealing with my son's teeth, and wondering if I still needed to accept help getting ready for Rosh Hashana.

I managed to pretend that all was well for a couple days. I made bread, challah, bagels, made up a great new honey yeast cake, baked honey cookies and was getting into the Rosh Hashana cooking spirit. For three days I was working at 75% of my old level and 1000% of where I have been lately. It felt great.

Then the crash came. I am numb. I am tingly. My levels are low, though not low enough to need IV calcium the drop is big. I am numb enough to remind me that, no, I am not super woman any more and if I continue that way I will keep dropping and feel worse.

Pacing myself is still need. It was great to know that when I am healthy again I am still in there. I still have the drive and desire and IY"H when the pain and numbness are gone I think I will be able to pick up and live fully again. For now I am pacing myself in order to stay healthy and keep my physical discomfort to a tolerable level.

I am so glad that my freezer is full though!! B"H for that no so small miracle. Two batches of challah and cakes and cookies are sitting there, ready to remind me that there are good days and to remind my kids that Mommy cares, Mommy tries, and hopefully that Mommy makes good food!

Odd but true

I need you update you all on my MIL.

After all this time, and a city of top doctors, they are still unsure of her diagnosis. They have sent slides and pathology all over Boston and to other major medical centers and hers don't match anything they have seen in the past.

They did not start chemo, since they are not sure at this point what is it they are dealing with.

They did find her immunoglobulin levels low and have started her on IVIG. They are going to do IVIG and follow her for the next six months, while they scratch their heads, write this up and continue looking for opinions and information.

For now, this is great news!!

It is just odd that in todays science and in a top rate medical mecca they could call her to come back, thousands of miles, cut her time short with her family, pay almost a thousand dollars to change her ticket, and then decide that they have no clue what is going on after all.

We look forward to seeing her for my BIL's wedding. At this point it seems she should IY"H be able to come back for it, which is huge!! Being undiagnosed (because they all agree something is wrong) is odd and a bit scary, but hopefully the IVIG will knock what ever this is out and she will healthy and well soon.

It is obvious that everyone's prayers and the good deeds they took on on her behalf are paying off. They are obviously still needed though.

Just posting quickly to say

I love my bread machine!

We had awesome toasted cheese sandwiches today and I have a loaf of heavenly smelling honey oatmeal bread waiting to be eaten next. In the bread machine is whole wheat honey bread, though it doesn't look as pretty as the others, we shall see what it tastes like.

I used the machine to knead the Monkey Bread dough (thanks for posting the link to the explanation Mikimi). It is incredibly easy to clean.

I foresee a lot of yummy bread and experimentation with different bread recipes in my future.

Good new/bad news

The good news is better than the bad news though!

My calcium is a bit high, but not dangerously so. I am thinking we should watch it and not change anything until we have to. Ultimately that is up to my doctors and not me though. We shall see!!

AC's dental appointment went well. IY"H we only have one more visit left, which we scheduled for next Monday. It will be so nice to have his mouth taken care of.

Today he got three fillings, a cleaning and a sealant. He also got a sticker and a toy duck.

It is wonderful that his school and dentist are right around the corner from each other. It was a quick stroll over to the dentist. Even with all of the dental work he needed, AC was only away from school for 45 mintues!

Other good news: my husband toiveled the pan from my bread machine and it is working right now! I opened the lid and checked the dough consistency after it kneaded it and it was nice! IY"H My kids are going to have wonderful sandwiches tomorrow.

Onto the frustrating/bad news, when toilveling the bread machine parts my husband dropped his cellphone into the water. It fell out of his pocket when he was leaning over. We bought our phones pretty recently and are still paying for them, so this is really upsetting. He didn't know to let it dry out well before turning it on, so he took it apart, dried it with a towel and tried turning it on.

It is now apart and drying in a bag of rice. There is always hope, but I am researching phones none the less. It is really hard not to have a way to be in touch with my husband. We went years without cellphones, but since he doesn't have a desk job with a phone available it is necessary at this point.

I think he is taking my phone tomorrow since I don't plan on going anywhere. If anyone needs to be in touch with me on my cell they may well reach my husband instead.

I need to get back into my Friday Kever Rochel trips. Now that the kids are back in school and I am feeling a bit better it should be possible. I am using a lot of my energy on one little boy's mouth until the holidays begin though!

Rosh Hashana is in less than a week. Not only have I not made challah for Rosh Hashana, I haven't made challah yet for this Shabbos. I still have dreams of bagel making as well. PDZ got me good American style cream cheese, so I need to make them before it goes bad. I little more energy has caused a lot more dreams. I have started a collection of recipes I want to make. I think I would be insane to make challah, monkey bread and bagels tomorrow, but it is fun to dream.

I am still exhausted, but not in pain or uncomfortable in my body right now. The pain and numbness are so draining that I didn't want to move or do anything. Now I want to and am using any energy I can find. I know that when they attempt to lower my calcium again I will be miserable. The drop is always bad. I want the freezer full and everything running smoothly in the house before that happens.

I love the smell of bread baking!

We had a busy day.

I planned on baking today. I have lots to do to get ready for the upcoming holidays, I was just too tired.

I did marinate and roast some tofu and make headway on my black eyed beans, but baking didn't happen.

A friend of mine came with her kids to play in our pool. That always helps break up the monotony and keep my children (and myself) happy!

Tomorrow AC has the next round of dental work, so I won't be home all morning. The baking really has to happen though. I need challah for Shabbos!

Our bread machine arrived today. Once DH toivels (ritual immerses) the pieces we will have a fun new toy. My oldest will have no excuse not to have sandwiches at school any more. She can't have store bought bread because of her allergies and has thing thing against frozen bread, so she only eats sandwiches when I make her fresh bread and I was not able to do that daily. Now she can make fresh when ever she wants and she can do it herself!

It seems that AC had a great day at school. He came home with treats and notes and obviously well cared for. Tomorrow I get to pick him up from school for his dentists appointment so I will meet his teacher and see the school in action! I am excited.

Packed, labeled, bagged, written

It is funny, as much work as it was to send off the girls, it is so much more work to send my son. He is only one person but he doesn't travel light. My poor husband got the task of translating the note I wrote (in English) into Hebrew for his teachers. They don't know him and they need to! Allergies need to be known upfront for certain. I packed his medications, spare tube, spare clothing, diapers, and food. It would be easier, and more fun, just to keep him home.

I think we are done.

I won't be done until he gets home from his first day of school smiling.

*****

We had a wonderful day today. AC and I played and read books this morning. He gave me his stuffed sheep to cuddle when I tried to convince him to spend a couple minutes resting this morning. He had fun roaring and "scaring" me. He helped me with laundry, I "tossed the wet laundry from the washer at him and he threw it into the drier. We had some rare time with just the two of us home and we had a lot of time just being together.

It was a great last day of vacation.