Balancing act

I was feeling better, a lot better, the beginning of this week. I was starting to think I was getting back to me, so I tried living like I used to. I was cleaning, cooking, shopping, dealing with my son's teeth, and wondering if I still needed to accept help getting ready for Rosh Hashana.

I managed to pretend that all was well for a couple days. I made bread, challah, bagels, made up a great new honey yeast cake, baked honey cookies and was getting into the Rosh Hashana cooking spirit. For three days I was working at 75% of my old level and 1000% of where I have been lately. It felt great.

Then the crash came. I am numb. I am tingly. My levels are low, though not low enough to need IV calcium the drop is big. I am numb enough to remind me that, no, I am not super woman any more and if I continue that way I will keep dropping and feel worse.

Pacing myself is still need. It was great to know that when I am healthy again I am still in there. I still have the drive and desire and IY"H when the pain and numbness are gone I think I will be able to pick up and live fully again. For now I am pacing myself in order to stay healthy and keep my physical discomfort to a tolerable level.

I am so glad that my freezer is full though!! B"H for that no so small miracle. Two batches of challah and cakes and cookies are sitting there, ready to remind me that there are good days and to remind my kids that Mommy cares, Mommy tries, and hopefully that Mommy makes good food!