And the bear awakes

Since my surgery my calcium levels have been pretty much okay. A bit low at times, but nothing critical. I have also been doing very little physical activity since I didn't have the energy or strength.

B"H now I am doing a lot better. I am sleeping at night. I am doing more during the day.

Now, despite my medication my calcium numbers are more unstable and trending lower. I had recently started to wonder if things were better but I guess the problems were just hibernating.

Yesterday I went to the mall with a friend and got my permit so I can learn to drive in Israel. After that I went for physical therapy. It was an incredibly busy day. It was so nice to have such a normal and productive day, but now I am paying the price.

Today I am numb and tingly and not feeling well at all. I went for blood work and am waiting anxiously for results. I can't function feeling like this and I don't want to go into Shabbos this way. I am honestly hoping that my numbers show that I need IV and that I am able to get it tonight and feel better again.

I don't want to stop doing what I can do physically and keep my calcium levels stable, but I certainly don't want to feel like this.

Going to sleep early and getting up early has been a great change. I have been getting up by 5am, which means I am up to dress my son, and get him out then iron shirts, fix hair and toast sandwiches for my daughters.

As much as we all enjoy the time together and the positive interactions first thing in the morning it is a lot more physical activity for me. Since my surgery my husband has been doing those tasks, or (like the ironing and toasted sandwiches) they just didn't happen. I think it is energy well spent, but it all ads up.

I am trying not to nap during the day. I much prefer being exhausted and falling into bed at 9pm over napping during the day and having trouble sleeping at night. By 6pm I am ready to cry from exhaustion, but I am so afraid to throw off my schedule.

Life is such a balance.