I am so numb, so sore and so tired of living in my body. I am paying for the zoo and wedding on Monday in a way that no one else can understand or see. Well, there are some twitches that you could see if you watch carefully, but really they aren't even the tip of the iceberg. My blood tests yesterday showed my calcium was low enough that my doctor would have given my IV calcium but the results didn't come in until almost 7pm, when the office closes and this morning I just prayed that today would be better instead of going for blood work so I could get IV calcium.
Oh well. Tomorrow I will IY"H go for blood work. Tomorrow I will IY"H feel better.
Someone asked me why my sister in law didn't go back with my mother in law to help her out. She questioned my SIL staying out the last two weeks of her vacation. The question showed how little the lady understands the trauma of a cancer diagnosis. The trauma isn't only my mother in laws.
Yes, it is her body which will be going through treatment, but it is my sister in law who at fifteen is going to be doing her best to take over the household and keep it running. The weight of the world is soon to be on her shoulders and no one should be hastening that.
My father died 19 years ago, when I was just 16. I feel fiercely protective of my sister in law. I want to shelter her from what she is going to be facing as the only child still living at home. She has no one to to share the burden with on a day to day basis. As much as I know she will be great support and strength for my mother in law, for her sake I think that the longer she is here the better and so does my mother in law.
I so wish there was something I could do to help.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever want/need to talk late at night-I am here for you.