I did my best, callled in my backup and now I am done

My mother should be here in 7 hours and I am going to sleep. I am not going to stress about her visit or her reaction to my house. I am not going to wonder how we are going to survive the next three weeks.

With the helps of some friends, the majority of the laundry is washed, folded and put away. My mother's bed is made. The floors and bathrooms are washed. The kitchen is sparkling. I have plenty of food, including fruits and vegetables and fresh baked banana muffins and hermit bars.

The new pool is even full and waiting!

Things will go one of two ways tomorrow though. My mother will notice the clutter points in my house and comment, or notice and decide to help. I hate clutter, but life is about choices right now. I can't do everything. When I was healthy I would have cleaned it all up before she got here. The house would have been beyond reproach, and she would find something to comment on anyway.

Last year, either I was sick and post op enough not to notice and care, or things went better. She helped. She mended clothing, helped deal with the kids clothing and didn't expect as much entertainment.

I am more than a bit nervous but hopeful. The problem is, I want my mothers approval enough to make myself sick trying to get it.

Generally I think of myself as a grounded, psychologically sound person. Waiting for my mother I am beginning to wonder.