I have a bunch of recipes saved and lots of plans for when I feel better.
I also have a big fear that that day won't come.
The hypoparathyroidism/hypocalcemia is here to stay and insistent on keeping me miserable, but there are drug trials underway and injectable medications on the horizon and that gives me hope.
So I continue to collect great sounding recipes and plans for the future, for when I feel better, and I pray that that day comes soon.
Until then I am appreciating my life for what it is. The pace may be slow, my ability to do and go not like it was "before" but my pain is a lot less than a year ago, our understanding of what we are facing is better, and most importantly I am alive to cuddle my kids, sing bed time songs, read stories, laugh and give kisses. We can love and hug and live together, even if I have to plan my whole day around how much energy I have and how numb I am starting out.
planning the day? what a concept! I always tell myself to sleep in the mornings, so I can be awake for the kids.... I plan.... but I don't stick to my plan.... then I slep when the kids are finally home.... then I feel guilty... and sorry to miss that time together.... then I find out that they were only home for a few minutes before they had to leave.... for snif (Bnei Akiva, Ezra, or Ariel, depending on the kid), for chugim, for whatever.... *sigh*
ReplyDeleteRivka,you make plans for every single day and you do them! You are amazing!! You do and do and do and do despite your exhaustion and your pain.
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