Now we know.
I still hope that they meant 30-90 days, not business days for my deposit. That would mean Jan 31, 2011. Either way, it should be here in plenty of time to buy tickets to go to the US this summer, though the price of the plane tickets could well go up.
I am not feeling great, though better than before B"H, and since I am not sleeping well I find my brain stuck on odd things, like this one. Does it really matter? No! Will we have the money (God willing) exactly when we should have the money. Yes! Do I want to know what is happening and plan my life even though I am clearly not in charge (and that is a good thing, really)? Yes. Most certainly yes.
It is hard to let go, know I am not in charge and go with the flow of life and God's plan. I am a planner. I like to know in advance what is coming. I check the weather and have clothing planed in advance. I like to know what meals we are eating when.
Being sick has forced me to drop a lot of my planning and control over my life. It doesn't mesh well with my inner wants, but this trip I still seem to think I can plan, which is ridiculous. I can't plan how any of us will feel, the weather, if and when the money is coming, and if the trip can and will actually happen. I don't even have a radiation isolation date yet.
Life is good, I am happy, but I am not in control. Learning that is a process. Even though I "know" it I seem to need a lot of reminders, and I get them. I keep wondering if I learn completely that I am not in control and learn to be patient, will the lessons keep coming or will life flow along a lot more easily?
planning,hoping,fantasizing-these are what keep us sane.i,too, am planning a hopeful trip to U.S that a friend there has kindly offered to finance.
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