I am a bit down/overwhelmed

Shabbos was B"H great but I didn't get much sleep. I stayed up late talking with my husband and was up early entertaining my mother in law, until she left for my sister in law's for lunch. After lunch, when I was ready for a nap, an unexpected guest showed up.

Visiting with my mother in law was great. The company was nice as well. My children were wonderful, the food good and Shabbos great, but I am not ready for this week.

I have a friend who is in the hospital in liver failure from late stage breast cancer. She is hallucinating and wouldn't know that I was there, but I feel bad not going. I can't though. I sit at home praying for her, wishing I could do more.

I am waiting on my CT scan results and trying not to worry about them or look at the images. I just want to know what they found and whether the surgery is just going to be the known cancerous node and surrounding area or a bigger surgery. I have had nightmares about the surgeon deciding he needs to re-dissect the first side and do a complete dissection my the left side of my neck as well. I need to hear that there were no unexpected findings. I have a feeling I won't get that call until Tuesday at the earliest.

Sunday I am supposed to be getting together with friends, which I am looking forward to, but that night out is followed by parent teacher conferences Monday at my son's school, which should be fine but exhausting.

I have to get to the US Consulate with my disability paperwork one morning this week, and though I have some good strong letters in English I am not sure it is enough or if I should be getting more paperwork translated. I don't even know if they will accept my translations, though they obviously aren't doing their own. How much work do I put into this if they won't accept the translations anyway?

Wednesday Beit Natan is having a Women's Health Fair and Chinese auction. http://www.beitnatan.org/ My husband thinks I should go, and I haven't seen many of my Beit Natan friends since the winter day retreat, but it is an all day thing. I have no idea if and when any of them would be showing up and I certainly am not going for the whole thing. He got the day off for me to go, but I am just not sure.

I really should call and update my oncologist on the biopsy. I still haven't. I am debating waiting on the CT scan results to call or calling tomorrow.

I am sure once I get the disability paperwork done, organized, to the consulate and off my head I will feel a lot better. It is causing me more stress than the rest combined. As we know, stress makes me physically ill, numb and my muscles cramp, so it is a bad cycle.

On the other hand, the second hand sectional we purchased is wonderful. It isn't nearly as comfortable as the two seater couch we purchased almost fourteen years ago but it is comfortable and has room for everyone! AC slept on one end and there was still room for all three girls to sit and read without being on top of each other. There are technically five seats, though there is room for more people, plus my armchair means everyone in our family has a comfortable place to sit in the living room.

We are having a reprieve from the heat for a couple days. It was only in the 70s today and shouldn't hit 90 again before Wednesday!

My husband managed to get day shifts when I need to be out in the evenings, so I do not need to get babysitters!

I am working on focusing on the positive, and B"H there is lots of it.