From there we moved on to a dentist appointment, including fillings and sealants for one sensory defensive child. It wasn't horrible, but that may be because we gave her laughing gas. It was expensive, but changed a potentially traumatic experiences into one we all got through just fine B"H!
During the drilling I got a call from my surgeon with preliminary biopsy results. They were not good, but it is only preliminary, maybe the final results will be fine. M surgeon wanted me to come in tomorrow and start paperwork and schedule surgery. With the way this week has been and how I am feeling I asked to wait until next week when final results are in and he wasn't thrilled but he was okay with it.
I am so so numb and tingly. The more I do and the more I stress the worse it gets, and this week has been chock full of both. I need to get a babysitter so I can go for IV tomorrow night. I am crawling out of my skin from discomfort and that means my levels are critically low. It isn't just a matter of discomfort, calcium levels this low can cause heart issues as well.
This afternoon our washing machine died. The timing is incredibly funny. IY"H tomorrow we will fine a repairman to come and asses whether it is possible to fix it or not. It seems to be the week of the broken washing machine and washing machine repair and longevity conversations.
Yesterday I was telling someone how happy I am with my washing machine and how it is still running like new five years after I bought it. It only needing service once for a clogged drain pump in all that time... I also recommended my machine to the person I an raising funds to help buy a new machine. B"H she didn't listen to me!
This evening I brought my son (and the rest of my children since my husband was working) to the doctor because my son has a cough, is having major issues keeping his oxygen levels up, is needing quite a bit of supplemental O2, and having trouble with mucus plugs. I was quite sure he had pneumonia. He does.
After the doctor we stopped at the shoe store, which is in the same building as the doctor's office,
and miraculously found winter shoes for all four children! One of my kids is very picky and one has major sensory issues so shoe shopping is generally torture, involving multiple stores and some tears, but B"H it was fine. I didn't bargain hunt and find the cheapest ones, but I got the task done and made everyone happy. The temperature had finally dropped and soon, IY"H, we will have rain so sandals couldn't be their only properly fitting footwear.
I am determined to live and laugh and even smile through this week. My goal is to keep repeating to myself that HKBH is in charge and loves me, no matter what He throws at me. It may feel like rotten tomatoes but really it is for the best.
After the surgeon called I was tempted to turn off my phone ringer so I don't get any more calls, since no new is good news. B"H I have had some good calls, lots of support from friends and I am just not a happy hermit. I am looking forward to Shabbos, the quiet and the peace though. Shabbos is a good kind of quiet and detachment from the rest of the world. It is a healthy God sanctioned break, not a fear based one which really accomplishes little but breed more fear.
I am glad that there is only one more full day before Shabbos comes.
This is the quote which lent the words to the song which has been running through my head all day:
The whole entire world is a very narrow bridge.
But the main thing to recall, is to have no fear at all.
-- Rabbi Nachman of Breslav
I really wish I could help any of my friends being as ?I don't have much going on in my life and too much free time on my hands.
ReplyDelete:) I need a clone with energy. B"H there isn't that much I need help with. We are still eating leftovers from yom tov. Without a working washing machine there is no laundry to wash, fold or put away. The sukkah is down and put away.
ReplyDeleteA trained night nurse to deal with oxygen, feeding pumps and pulseox alarms and give medications might be nice, but really we B"H have it covered.
That or a gemach shopper. I need to get AC clothing for the winter.